"On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. 'Teacher,' he asked, 'what must I do to inherit eternal life?' 'What is written in the Law?’ he replied. 'How do you read it?' He answered, '"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind"; and "Love your neighbour as yourself."' 'You have answered correctly,' Jesus replied. 'Do this and you will live'" (Lk 10:25-28).

Each time that we read "love your neighbour as yourself" in the Gospels, the Greek word is a derivative of agape. This is the love of reason, esteem and sacrifice; it doesn't necessarily have to involve our emotions. It chooses to wish well of others; to take pleasure in them as they are; to long for the very best for them; to give them the benefit of the doubt. It means to demonstrate empathy, kindness, mercy and grace towards them. It is a love which is unselfish and unconditional. We may be quick to accept that this is the way we are to love our "neighbour" defined as "anyone in need of our love in a very practical way" but what about ourselves? Do we love ourselves in precisely these ways? Is it even right to so do? I am absolutely certain now that it is, but I still find it difficult.

The greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind. The Message has "with all our passion, prayer, energy and intelligence". However we are certainly not commanded to love ourselves in this way!

Paul wrote to Timothy: "You should know this that in [these] the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money … Stay away from people like that!" (2 Tm 3:1-5). The Message says people will be "in love with themselves". I once heard it said of someone who was very self-absorbed and cruel to others that the only person they really loved was themselves. The word used for love in this passage is not agape. Its link with money is helpful in that we are told we cannot serve both God and money (Mt 6:24) and the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil (1 Tm 6:10). Again the Greek word is not a derivative of agape. This kind of self-love amounts to idolatry.

What about 1 Cor 9:24-27 and Paul's words "I pummel my body and make it my slave"? This is certainly not an encouragement to engage in flagellation (the beating or whipping of the skin, most often on the back, and often drawing blood, as a bodily penance to show remorse for sin) or any sort of self-harm. That breaks God's heart. Paul is simply using hyperbole to refer to the athlete's maxim "no pain no gain" when it comes to training for an important race; to increasing the reps when working out with weights until it becomes a tad painful. Harsh treatment of the body is roundly condemned in the Bible (Col 2:23).

"No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church" (Eph 5:29). This means it's abnormal to do otherwise, especially for a Christian. Jesus said, "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets" (Mt 7:12). We would surely put acts of loving kindness at the top of our own list. The fact is we dishonour our Creator when we don't treat ourselves with loving kindness.