In the first two chapters of Matthew, the focus is more on Joseph than Mary. He is one of the unsung heroes of the Bible. It is likely that Jesus was 2 when he was taken to Egypt and 3 or 4 when he was brought back to Israel. In these critical years of his life he could have fallen victim to the most terrible and traumatic events, had Joseph not wholeheartedly followed the angel's counsel and instructions.

I am so pleased that Jesus was brought up by a wonderful mother and a compassionate father. He had many brothers and sisters. All were loved and treasured by their devoted parents. He was taught the Scriptures and a trade and enjoyed safety and security. For 3 years as an adult, he would be rejected, ridiculed, despised, judged a blasphemer, violently abused, and finally executed as a criminal. But up to the age of 30, all the indications are that he was part of a loving and affirming family. I am so happy about this. Today so many are now being abused by parents and carers, much of it never coming to light.

Joseph was a righteous man – one who observed the Jewish Law; he was also merciful and kind. He had no desire whatsoever to treat Mary harshly; he wanted to extend grace to her, to protect her and avoid open scandal for her sake. Naturally he believed that she had been unfaithful to him, but he treated her with respect and dignity. He wasn't indignant, judgmental or condemning. He wasn't self-absorbed and self-centred. His one desire was to do what was right and best for her. And all this before the angel had explained anything to him.

It was while he was considering divorcing her quietly that the angel spoke to him. I believe he was meant to understand the angel's words in this way: "Do not shrink from taking Mary as your wife; be completely settled in your heart about this. Never let doubts arise during his upbringing that her child is indeed the Son of God. Be a great husband for her and a great dad for him!" And that is how it seems to have turned out.

Joseph was a man of outstanding faith. The angel of the Lord had appeared to Joseph "in a dream" that is in a vision which came to him while he was asleep. Once awake he could have dismissed it. Yet he believed the seemingly unbelievable. (Zachariah saw and heard an angel while wide awake, but he didn't believe his words.)

Joseph was a good husband. He believed in Mary. He was considerate, supportive, protective and kind. What a boost to her faith! What a wonderful encouragement for her! The angel had told him to name the child; that is to assume responsibility as head of his family by adopting him. This is what he did.  

Joseph was a good father: He had many children to bring up (Jesus, James, Joseph, Simon, Judas and at least three daughters) and he seems to have done an excellent job. Jesus' siblings did not believe in him before the cross and considered him "out of his mind". But they all became Christians after the resurrection and were present in the upper room in Acts 1:14.   

Joseph was highly respected as "the carpenter" and he taught his trade to his eldest son who also became known as "the carpenter". Imagine how much time Joseph would have spent one-on-one with Jesus. In Guinea-Bissau carpenters are highly thought of. They carry out structural work on buildings, and make quality doors, windows and furniture. Jesus would have done the same. Perhaps he took over the business when Joseph died. For 30 years, his neighbours had watched him develop into a valid member of their community, yet, incredibly, when he began to demonstrate God's power, they took offence and rejected him.

Fathers, husbands and grandads: how are we doing? Let's learn from Joseph: content to be overlooked; a man of simple but outstanding faith; and one who brought joy to every member of his family.